What if?

Someone, far far away told me to write in english, so i'll do my best.
And so it is... And I ask myself, wot if?Wot if I cry, wot if I decide?Wot if I everythings turns upside down and your life passes and you even notice?I just keep thinking and thinking about nonsense things, nonsense ideas that won't have an answer. Why won't they?Maybe because I don't want to, maybe because I really don't care.Maybe I just don't know want to know the real answer and meaning of everything that surrounds me, and I know that's not good... but sometimes is better if you run away and end up dead in an alley, where nobody knows you; cause maybe in the real life, no one really cares about you.
But then i think about some people that've always been there for me, and make me analyse my capacities, my knowledge,my potencial, my everything...and i react, and act. Some tears fall, cuz I can't believe wot I'm hearing... I can't even imagine how my life has changed, how my spirit and my soul have weakened, and my hearts ends up broken in two, or more little pieces,I just don't know.

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GET OVER PEOPLE, TO GET OVER YOU, TO GET OVER SOME THINGS THAT JUST DON'T...DON'T!!

I just keep on thinking and thinking and there's no answer to anything, just shh... don't speak, my heart is broken and my soul is beginning to break too. And the worst of all is that u do know why, and u just don't talk to me. Please, don't... don't touch me, don't play with me, don't, just stay... and be mine...
I wanna be strong, I wanna be me, but I wanna be me with a happy soul and face.
...